If I were alone in a room I would see the pitch black. When I think of lonliness I also think of the dark. I picture me alone in a dark abandoned room.
I'm at Tim Hortons enjoying the free wi-fi finishing my homework. I'm enjoying my mocha latte in the peace and quiet. I see people eating their food and enjoing there coffee.
So what if we combine the two with a little bridge sentence:
"If I were alone in a room I would see the pitch black. When I think of lonliness I also think of the dark. I picture me alone in a dark abandoned room. But that's not where I am. I'm at Tim Hortons enjoying the free wi-fi finishing my homework. I'm enjoying my mocha latte in the peace and quiet. I see people eating their food and enjoing there coffee."
That works better.
But, Whitney, you're still offering me answers like this was a quiz. I want full essays or at least paragraphs on these prompts. When I ask for a rewrite, I want a new post, not a reply in the comment box.
Well, what room are you actually in as you type--can you describe that in a rewrite?
ReplyDeleteI'm at Tim Hortons enjoying the free wi-fi finishing my homework. I'm enjoying my mocha latte in the peace and quiet. I see people eating their food and enjoing there coffee.
ReplyDeleteSo what if we combine the two with a little bridge sentence:
ReplyDelete"If I were alone in a room I would see the pitch black. When I think of lonliness I also think of the dark. I picture me alone in a dark abandoned room. But that's not where I am. I'm at Tim Hortons enjoying the free wi-fi finishing my homework. I'm enjoying my mocha latte in the peace and quiet. I see people eating their food and enjoing there coffee."
That works better.
But, Whitney, you're still offering me answers like this was a quiz. I want full essays or at least paragraphs on these prompts. When I ask for a rewrite, I want a new post, not a reply in the comment box.